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Testimony of Maeve Parker |
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I have been saved for many years I have much to thank Jesus for. But this part of my testimony is about loneliness. I grew up in a family of four children and parents who loved each other yet the family was dysfunctional. I think that we would all say that we lived in isolation from each other, each in our own lonely bubble. A dull depression hung over my life as far back as I can remember and I always felt a kind of shame of not belonging. To belong and conform and be part of a group of people was very important to me, but it never really happened and I was always on the outside looking with longing to those on the inside. The only way to cope was to be “alternative” and exclusive, a deliberate misfit and because I was arty I had the perfect backdrop for this image. I grew up, went to college, got married, had a child and got divorced and this pattern of isolation followed me getting stronger all the time. I could see my daughter developing these same traits and there was nothing I could do to help either of us. I became born again in 1989 and for the first time I became aware of the unconditional love of Jesus. The walls of isolation slowly started crumbling. He came to set the captive free and that’s what He was doing for me. God knew what my daughter and I needed and so He brought us into community. Alon is a group of believers who through their love and commitment to Jesus and one another have continued the work of breaking down those walls. I had believed the lie that I was born to be a loner, self-sufficient and proud. But Jesus never walked alone, He had the 12 disciples on earth and His father in heaven. I know that I belong to Him and His body of believers like a brick belongs in a wall and where I can live sharing my life and interacting with people. So instead of being dysfunctional I am becoming more and more whole and secure in Jesus’ love. This is the hope and the future that Jesus promised to each one who follows Him with all their hearts. I have my part to play in this growing body and God has fulfilled the longings of an isolated person. I have now been in community life for 14 years and looking back I can only stand in awe at the good news of God. My daughter is happily married with 2 children. Both of us are learning that god’s ways always bring life. I couldn’t give her brothers, sisters, fathers, friends before I came here, because I was divorced and she is my only child, but the Lord has given her and myself healthy relationships which is what i always desired. My life is full. God gives abundantly more than we can think or imagine as we give over our lives into His care and discipleship. |